If you have any questions about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ - we would love to talk with you. In our opinion based upon our own life's experience and observing countless others, until you have a relationship with Him, nothing else really matters. He has all of the answers and healing you so desperately need. Please use the above resources to help you become the kind of father, mother or grandparent that your child deserves.
Suggestions for Friends and Family
- If you know someone who is being alienated from their children, the greatest gift that you can give them is the gift of your constant love, support and prayers.
- PLEASE stay connected with this person. This can be hard at times because they are in such intense pain,. They are grieving a loss (similar to a death, except this continues every day for them) and you don't know what to say so it's easy to start avoiding them. One of our greatest challenges during the process of losing my sons was feeling very isolated and alone at times. After years of court battles and constant drama some of our closest friends became tired of our struggles and started to drift away. We didn't blame them! We wished desperately that we could drift away for a while ourselves...
- Do what you can to help financially. In our case we had 4 years of court motions and hearings to defend ourselves against. At the end of that time the attorneys fees alone totaled nearly $150,000. There were many times that we didn't know where our next meal was coming from or how we would put gas in the car to get to work. Good thing God did. We would never have made it without the financial help from family and friends.
- If you have the ability to contact the children, let them know that they are loved by the alienated parent. Remind them of stories and events that will trigger positive memories. Give them the website address so they can see the site for themselves.
- Write letters to the children and give them to your family member or friend to post on their website.
- It may seem small - but on court dates (which in alienation cases are often many), offer to make a meal or take them out to dinner. Court days are grueling and they can use your love & support.
- On holidays - don't be afraid to bring up memories of the children. They are still apart of your lives. Give Father's Day, Mother's Day and Grandparent Day cards to the person who has been alienated reminding them that they are a good parent or grandparent regardless of what the courts and the ex-spouse have said and done.
- Consider making a donation to a children's charity in honor of your grandchild, niece, nephew or family friend. We will be happy to post on their website under announcements that a donation was made in their honor. This will help the children understand when they do find the website, that just because you have been cut out of their lives that you still love and support them.
- Read the books on Parental Alienation. Find out all you can about this issue and then do what you can to help make a difference in the Family Court System. Write letters to the President, the Governor of your state, Senators, Congressmen at both the national and state levels urging them to pass laws making Parental Alienation a form of child abuse.
- When you see someone you know Alienating their children from another parent speak into their life and share how devastating to the children and selfish this type of behavior is. Don't be afraid to remind them that Parental Alienation is really just another form of child abuse. Suggest counseling to work through their problems, instead of a hate-filled campaign of Alienation.
Section #1: Faith & Healing
Section #3: Dealing with your emotions and getting rid of the baggage
Section #2: Parental Alienation - the "ultimate hate crime"
Section #4: Parenting skills that can change your life and theirs
Section #5: Marriage - don't fall into old patterns with a new spouse
Recommended Reading
Below are some books that will help you on your journey to become the very best man or woman you can be. Most of them are books we read on our journey. We encourage you to make the time to read as many as possible.
RESOURCES
This resource page is divided into three sections:
1. Recommended Reading
We hope that these will be of assistance to you as you rebuild your life and connect with others in similar situations. You may want to bookmark this page as we will be updating the lists from time to time.
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In my personal opinion, this first group of books deals with the absolute most important aspect of what is going on in your life right now. "Where is God in all of this?"
Some of you may be screaming those words while hot tears are streaming down your cheeks. By now you are probably angry and disillusioned with life itself, and possibly even with The One who created us.
All I can tell you is this, in my personal journey "everything that others meant for evil pointed me to a God that loves me deeply and will never leave or forsake me, even when, no, especially when it seems that I am wounded, forgotten and alone. Sometimes the only way you know that you're alive is the pain…"
These books will reveal, or at the very least re-acquaint you with, the God of the universe that loves you and your children. He is not some "feeble well-meaning old man" on a cloud somewhere. Nor is He "impotent or uncaring" about you or your children.
He WANTS you to seek Him in your pain. He loves your children more than you ever could. Find out what His plan is for you and all those "who are called according to His purpose in Christ Jesus". His plan may surprise you, but it will definitely encourage and bring healing to you in the midst of the storm.
Most of the time our emotions serve us well. Without them it would be impossible to feel love, compassion, mercy and even grief. But sometimes our emotions become our master, leading us down paths that are fraught with danger, and are abusive to those around us. These books can help you to set healthy boundaries with those that would harm or take advantage of you and your children, while also freeing you from destructive habits and patterns in your life.
These books will explain what Parental Alienation is, how it is used, and how to help your children when you encounter it. A "must have" for anyone experiencing problems with their children, created by PARENTAL ALIENATION!
Statistically, many of you reading this will eventually remarry (if you haven't already). If you think being married is difficult, wait until you start blending families! It can be great if you are equipped with effective parenting skills and have worked through your own issues, but it can be a nightmare if you haven't. I would encourage each one of you that is considering starting another family (or blending one) to equip yourself with the best tools that you can find. Both you and your family will be glad you did.
What is the last thing you EVER want to go through again…Another divorce! Commit to investing the same amount of time and effort to build an awesome marriage with your spouse, as you would to build anything of great and lasting value. You better have a plan! And a bunch of skills and basic understanding of the opposite sex wouldn't hurt either would it? This time have fun!
I can tell you is this, I thank God every day for the wife He has given me. She is much more than I deserve or I could ever have even imagined. There is hope after divorce!
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Keeping Families Connected
Resources to identify, battle & recover from Parental Alienation
Making a Difference
