Parental Alienation

Surviving the Pain of Parental Alienation – Part 4

by Rick Nischalke on November 22, 2013

Does God exist? – cont’d

This post is the fourth in a series on how to survive parental alienation. If you haven’t read the previous posts I would suggest doing so before reading this one.

In my previous post #3 of this series we looked at the first 3 reasons in the following list. Today we will explore the last 2:

It’s been my experience through the years that there are really only a handful of reasons that people refuse to believe in (or acknowledge) the existence of God.

  1. Some of us have never really given much thought or done our own research on the subject, so we end up accepting and repeating what some authority figure in our life told us we should believe.
  2. Some believe that our cultures’ “current version of science” has all of the answers and they are under the false belief that no one of above average intelligence believes in Intelligent Design and Creation.
  3. If God does in fact exist, this truth may require changes in their lifestyle that they are unwilling to make.
  4. Many become angry and appalled with the injustice, evil and pain in this world. They ask “If God exists how could He let all of this happen”?
  5. In some cases people that used to believe in God change their view because they feel that God has let them down in some way. They become disillusioned by their own false understanding about who God is and how He operates in our world. They believe that God has an obligation to answer every prayer the way that they think He should or He must not be real or trustworthy. Or worse yet, if they are in deep enough pain and confusion they simply walk away from a relationship with Him. Sometimes they profess not to believe in Him at all, but most of the time they are just angry, hurt and disillusioned by their pain so they refuse to worship, follow or even acknowledge God’s existence anymore.

Addressing the 4th reason on our list let me start by saying that all of us should be angry, shocked and appalled with the injustice, evil and pain in our world. Each of those things should cause us great consternation and deep reflection about the world we live in and the very meaning of life itself.

Many of us just haven’t been able to make sense of how a loving and all-powerful God could allow evil to permeate our society. We earnestly wrestle with this seeming disparity and are at a loss as to how to reconcile these two “opposing truths”. If you find yourself in that situation, I would refer you back to the 2nd post in this series for insight into this perplexing issue. Specifically go to the section that says: “Let’s begin exploring God’s existence by examining some the basics of the Christian faith.” Although this may not answer your questions in their entirety, it’s certainly a good start. I have also recommended several books that will discuss these matters in depth.

But here’s where it gets dicey, the conclusions we come to about these difficult realities of life, can be heavily influenced by the first 3 reasons listed above. If someone hasn’t invested the time and effort to come to a proper understanding of who God is, and they refuse His offer of salvation because they don’t want the accountability that goes with that, then they use the atrocities of life to reinforce why they shouldn’t “believe” in a God that would allow those things. The sad but interesting thing is that these are usually the very people that push God away (out of our schools, public meetings, court etc.) and deny Him every chance they get, yet they rail against Him when there’s a natural catastrophe or a sociopath goes on a rampage etc.

The 5th reason on this list is much more complex and difficult to explain with a brief explanation. There are really only a few core reasons that people “stop believing in” or turn away from God.

I’ll take the sadist but easiest reason first. They never really “believed” in Him in the first place. Many people make a profession of faith at some point in their life. But not all of them come to a saving faith in Christ. Many are moved by the emotion of the moment or perhaps a friend, family member or peer pressure that encourages them to profess their faith in Christ. Any of us could “believe” that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. But that belief alone isn’t an acknowledgement of sin or faith in Christ’s sacrifice for our salvation is it? That type of superficial faith or belief, will never see us through the hard times and complexities of life. Look in your bible in the book of Matthew 13: 1-22 to see what Jesus had to say about “the parable of the sower”. The good news is that if you fall in this category, today is a brand new day! Don’t count on anything from your past. Ask Jesus to give you the faith to believe and follow Him today and to forgive all of your sins.

Then there are those of us that have truly believed to the point of salvation but have gotten lost along the way. This life is brutal! Sometimes the pain and disillusionment is so intense that we turn away from God completely for a time. Most of the time, it’s because we feel that God has let us down in some way. Often we become disillusioned by our own false understanding about who God is and how He operates in our world. We believe that God has an obligation to answer every prayer the way that they think He should or He must not be real or trustworthy.

There are two deadly teachings in many Christian churches today. One is that once you become a follower of Jesus Christ you won’t experience hardship, adversity or persecution in this life. The other is that if you “do all the right things”, only good things or blessings will come into your life. And if God doesn’t answer your prayer the way that you think He should, than either you don’t have enough faith or there is un-confessed sin in your life. Both of those teachings are a lie. In scripture Jesus disputes both of these false beliefs.

Jesus promises us that when we follow Him we can expect persecution for doing so. This means that when we walk with Him, those that hate Him will hate us and everything we stand for. Obviously, that doesn’t mean when we do something wrong or sinful and there are consequences to our actions that we can say we are be “persecuted for Him”.

So what happens when we pray for “good” things and God doesn’t give us the answer that we prayed for? What if we read our bible, say our prayers, go to church, treat others kindly and try to be the best person we can be, and then He still doesn’t give us what we want? These types of circumstances cause many to have a crisis of faith. Now is the time you will find out what your faith is really made of.

Have you been worshiping a much smaller god that you have created in your own mind, one that is a magic genie of sorts, where you can make a wish and he will grant it? One that operates based upon what you see as real and important and is limited by your perspective? Have you ever wanted something bad enough to pray for it only to find out later that is was a really good thing you didn’t get what you prayed for? Maybe there were other factors involved that would have made it a terrible thing in your life if you got the thing or circumstance you asked for. Do you really want to follow a god that is that small?

Or do you have faith in the Omniscient, Omni-present, Omnipotent, all-powerful, loving and wise God of the bible? A God that is all knowing, not limited by time or space, and so powerful that nothing in the heavens or on earth can stop Him from accomplishing His purposes. A God that loves us so much that sometimes He allows this sinful and fallen world to drive us closer to Him so that He can meet us at an even deeper level, to show us His love and compassion for us.

We are so limited. We are finite beings and He is not. God has revealed much of His plan for mankind in His Word. He has also revealed many aspects of His character including His great love and compassion for His people, His holiness and righteousness, His willingness to forgive us while we were yet sinners through the provision of His son. But much of His plan is still a mystery.

Here’s what you need to decide. Can God be trusted? Can God be trusted with your children? Can He be trusted even when lies and evil seem to prevail and darkness seems the victor? If He is a loving and all-powerful God than how could He allow such injustice and evil to seemingly prevail? Those are great questions, questions that only He can answer. And He wants and invites you to seek Him for those answers.

Even as you read this, please remember that I have not been in my sons’ lives since 1999. I lost all contact with them when they were ages 4 & 7. I have seen my share of lies, darkness and corruption prevail. So even though I draw my conclusions based upon how God has revealed Himself in scripture, I have also walked with Him through the darkest days of my life.
I have decided to trust God no matter what. He sees what I cannot. He knows what I do not. He has revealed Himself in scripture and in my life as the only one who can be completely trusted. He will never leave or forsake us (or our children). My children were a gift from Him and I thank Him for every day I had with them. Although I hope to be reconciled to them again on this earth, I know I will be with them in heaven for eternity.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Look at the stories of Job, David, Daniel and Joseph just to name a few examples of the fulfillment of His promise.

This life is not the end of your story or His plan for us. Justice, real honest unflinching justice will prevail in the end. Just please make sure that you are covered by the blood of Jesus when His judgment day comes.

In summation, trust God’s character and promises even when everything around you screams that He doesn’t care. He cares more than you know. Look to Jesus and you will find assurance of His love for you. May you find the healing, peace and hope that only He can bring.

Have a great day!
Rick

Surviving the Pain of Parental Alienation – Part 3

by Rick Nischalke on September 12, 2013

Does God exist? – cont’d

This post is the third in a series on how to survive parental alienation. If you haven’t read the previous posts I would suggest doing so before reading this one.
In my previous post #2 of this series we left off here:

It’s been my experience through the years that there are really only a handful of reasons that people refuse to believe in (or acknowledge) the existence of God.

  1. Some of us have never really given much thought or done our own research on the subject, so we end up accepting and repeating what some authority figure in our life told us we should believe.
  2. Some believe that our cultures’ “current version of science” has all of the answers and they are under the false belief that no one of above average intelligence believes in Intelligent Design and Creation.
  3. If God does in fact exist, this truth may require changes in their lifestyle that they are unwilling to make.
  4. Many become angry and appalled with the injustice, evil and pain in this world. They ask “If God exists how could He let all of this happen”?
  5. In some cases people that used to believe in God change their view because they feel that God has let them down in some way. They become disillusioned by their own false understanding about who God is and how He operates in our world. They believe that God has an obligation to answer every prayer the way that they think He should or He must not be real or trustworthy. Or worse yet, if they are in deep enough pain and confusion they simply walk away from a relationship with Him. Sometimes they profess not to believe in Him at all, but most of the time they are just angry, hurt and disillusioned by their pain so they refuse to worship, follow or even acknowledge God’s existence anymore.

Please let me begin by saying that volumes could be written and discussed about each one of these subjects. In fact volumes have been written! But it isn’t my intention here to address each of these topics in the depth that they deserve and not one of them has any “easy” answers. My hope is to stimulate you to ponder and perhaps research these subjects further after you hear my perspective on them. You may or may not come to the same conclusions that I have, but at least you will have put an honest effort into resolving these issues in your own mind and heart.

Let’s start with reason #1 first and take them in order:

William James is credited with the statement: “The aim of education to teach you how to think not what to think.” Now I can’t attest to the accuracy of whether he was the first to come up with this statement or not, I just know it wasn’t me! I do however agree with the statement. Sadly in my lifetime I have seen many people influenced by formal education in just the opposite way. I believe that most of us would agree that academia and a formal education certainly has value in our society. But the sad reality is that there seems to be a distinct trend in our educational system to “program and persuade” students to certain political and societal beliefs as well as teaching scientific theories as though they are fact in the classroom. It has been my experience that very few teachers or professors welcome an honest and unbiased investigation and debate of the subjects they teach in their classes.

The fallout of this type of programming is that many people fail to question, research or form their own opinions even after they graduate from high school or college. They let the media, a political figure or party, an actor or actress, or even popular opinion sway their views instead of thinking through and researching the subjects to come up with their own strongly held conclusions and beliefs.

Nowhere is this pattern more destructive than when it comes to your belief about whether God exists or not and how that impacts your life and purpose in this world.

It would be a tragedy to go through life never caring enough or being too gullible to do your own research on the subject. And in the end to realize that the rest of eternity depended on your decision to accept or reject God’s love while you were here on this earth. To find out that there is a God that created you, loves you and has offered you an invitation to be a child of His (instead of just a creation) with the ability to live with Him forever in peace, joy and security in a world without sin, pain, injustice and grief, and you turned it down by not answering His call.

Reason #2:

Some of the smartest, wisest and most educated people in the field of science have contributed great things to our society and the world at large. Many of the most influential contributors in this field were and are Christians. Their contributions have made a significant impact on our understanding of the universe and our way of life on a daily basis. Progress in the realm of science has been nothing less than amazing at times. But like every other field of human endeavor, you have the best of the best and the worst of the worst.

If you are counting on science alone for the answers to God’s existence you are doomed. Here are just a few reasons why. God has revealed in scripture that we are finite beings. We are limited in our understanding of who we are as created beings, let alone attempting to understand a creator that has an infinite understanding of all things because He created them. God makes it very clear that we are incapable of comprehending certain levels of understanding that He has purposely hidden from us.

But even if you don’t know or believe what God has revealed in His word, let’s take a brief look at sciences’ track record. The following examples were all taught as fact at one time in history:

  • Science told us the world was flat.
  • Science told us that the sun revolved around the earth.
  • Science said the speed of sound and light could never be broken.
  • Science taught the atom was the smallest particle in existence.
  • Science continues to change and update the scope of what they discover in astronomy daily.
  • “Politically popular” science today teaches anything but Creation and Intelligent Design.

The list could go on indefinitely. Am I attempting to discredit or nullify the study of any of the sciences? Of course not, I am simply pointing out that the field of any scientific study is in a continual state of change based upon new discoveries and techniques that are learned as time goes on. So the first impediment to obtaining concrete answers from science is the continual lag in discovering truths that already exist about life and creation’s secrets.

The next major flaw in relying solely on science for an answer about God’s existence is this. True science works like this: Men and women set out to discover the secrets of the universe and use every tool available to discern these hidden truths. If the research is untainted, the scientists involved will share their findings regardless of where their research takes them. It may or may not prove or disprove a previous hypothesis. A scientist or research organization with integrity takes great pains to implement valid testing criteria and provides an unbiased conclusion about the data collected.

Sadly, all too often a scientist or research organization has an agenda going into their research. They do everything in their power to set up test parameters that will ensure they receive validation of the very “facts” that they want to promote. This is usually done for professional notoriety or politically or financially motivated. Sad but true.

Add to that, scientists that don’t believe anything unless they can “prove” it with science. So let’s ask a logical question here. Until the renowned scientists of the day had proof that the world was round they believed and taught that the world was flat, did that make it true? Just because we haven’t discovered ways to validate many of the things that God has revealed in His word does that make God wrong? Or does it just mean that we still have more to learn to catch up with what He has revealed in the scriptures? I don’t know about you but I’m inclined to believe the latter.

One more thing on the subject, look around you. Examine every part of the human body, the insect world, the ocean and marine-life, the stars and cosmos. Do you really need to be a scientist to figure out that our world, the cosmos and every human being was a creation of an intelligent being with a purpose? Some people would have you believe that there are no intelligent Christians. Here is a very short list of prominent individuals well respected for their intellect that expressed a strong belief in God:   Galileo Galilei , Blaise Pascal,  Sir Isaac Newton, Robert Boyle, Michael Faraday, Gregor Mendel, Max Planck,  Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Louis Pasteur, Heinrich Hertz, Lord Kelvin, George Washington Carver, Albert Schweitzer, Denis Alexander, Jocelyn Bell Burnell, William Newsome, Brian Kobilka, Mike Hulme, John Lennox.

Reason #3:

This is probably the saddest reason not to believe in and have a relationship with God. When someone refuses to acknowledge God in their life because He might require them to make changes in their lifestyle and choices, it’s truly all about control, pride and selfishness. I know that sounds harsh but there’s no nice way to say that.

God has extended an offer of salvation, grace and mercy through His son Jesus Christ. When we refuse His incredibly painful sacrifice of love on the cross as atonement for our sins we essentially spit in His face and say “No thanks. I don’t answer to anyone. I’ll do life my way. I don’t need or want your offer”.

These people realize that if God does in fact exist, that this truth will require certain things from them. They would be forced to come to grips with the fact that they aren’t the most important person in the universe. They would be forced to concede that there is someone in the universe that has the right to hold them accountable for their sins. If God doesn’t exist they can live a life with virtually no accountability or restrictions except for man-made laws in their culture. They can do whatever feels good to them and is right in their own eyes.

Now in all reality, most people never voice those words and may not even allow themselves to “go there” in their mind, but those thoughts and motivations are there non-the-less. This is part of the humbling process that I described earlier. Christ set the example for us by taking on humanity, living among us without sin, dying a horrible, painful and humbling death on the cross for OUR sins. And then He had conquered death and eternal judgment for everyone and anyone that would acknowledge Him as Lord, confess their sins and follow Him.

In all fairness, I don’t think we can ask any more of Him than that. In fact, I am continually amazed that God would find any of us worth of that type of love and sacrifice. So after all of that, my hope for you is that if you haven’t made Him the Lord of your life that you will do so today.

Here’s a prayer that you can pray if you’d like.

Lord, I am not a perfect person and I haven’t lived a perfect life. I confess all of my sins to you and ask for your forgiveness. Thank you for dying for my sins and for your grace and mercy. Please come into my heart and help me to follow you all the days of my life. Amen.

Well, this post is starting to turn into a marathon so we can discuss the last two reasons in my next post. These next two reasons will probably have the greatest relevance to the greatest number of targeted parents coming to this site.

Until then, have a great day!

Rick

Surviving the Pain of Parental Alienation – Part 1

by Rick Nischalke on August 2, 2013

How do I survive the pain of Parental Alienation?

People contact us from around the world on a daily basis looking for help, resources, encouragement, facts, laws and strategies. But the one overriding theme and prevailing question that we receive more than any other is, “How do I survive the horrifying and life-changing affects that my child and I have experienced because of parental alienation?”

This site is filled with a plethora of resources and suggestions for addressing multiple facets of the complex problem of PA. But no matter where you’re at in your personal journey ultimately you need to be able to understand, address and survive the brutal onslaught of attack, conflict and loss associated with this form of abuse.

Regardless of whether you end up maintaining a positive relationship with your children, or end up losing all contact with them, your life and relationship with them will never be the same. The bad news is that there is no going back. The good news is that after the dust has settled, they may well realize that you are the safe and sane parent and the alienator is not. Once you overcome attempts by the alienating parent to damage or destroy your relationship with your child, you may develop an even deeper bond of love and mutual respect than before.

But even in the best case, you will still need to deal with the fallout of negative emotions that are associated with going through this type of trauma. And in a worst case scenario, you will have lost the love, respect and many times all contact with your child. And most likely, you will have invested every dime you have trying to obtain “justice” in court along the way.

Let’s look at the typical stages and progression of events in a severe case of alienation.

  1. Most alienation starts long before an actual breakup, divorce or separation.
  2. The alienating parent begins making derogatory comments about the targeted parent to the children when that parent is not present. As things escalate they become much more overt in their attack. They make sure to berate, ridicule or disrespect the targeted parent in front of the children any chance they get, to reduce the authority of that parent in the children’s minds. They constantly attempt to “recruit” the children to see them as the favored or “good” parent and view the other parent as the inferior, inept or “bad” parent. At this point, the targeted parent rarely understands the goal of the alienator. They usually think that their spouse is just being rude or disrespectful to them, but they fail to realize the impact of these tactics on their relationship with their children.
  3. Unfortunately, after a period of time the majority of children subjected to these types of tactics are not only persuaded to believe what they are being programmed to believe, but they begin to view the targeted parent as weak or inferior. They actually begin to attack and demean the parent themselves to ingratiate themselves to the “powerful” or “superior” alienating parent.
  4. At some point there is usually a separation or divorce.
  5. During the initial divorce proceedings or at some point in the future, the alienator decides to control or destroy the targeted parent through the children. They employ a “winner-take-all” attitude and will stop at nothing to obtain their goals.
  6. There is usually extensive litigation during this phase. Statistically speaking, the alienator will use false accusations of fear, abuse, neglect or other tactics to isolate the targeted parent from the children. The family court system makes it easy for most alienator’s to achieve their goal of extricating the targeted parent from their child’s life. But as they go through this process they are able to financially and emotionally decimate the targeted parent as well.
  7.  At this point one of several things may have happened. The alienating parent has successfully severed the relationship of the targeted parent with the child. This can happen with or without the court’s assistance. The alienating parent may “win” in court and obtain a court order preventing any contact with the child. Or, the targeted parent receives a verbal reprimand from the judge to stop alienating the targeted parent but the damage is already done to the children. They disrespect and “choose” not to see the targeted parent of their “own free will”. Many times the judge shrugs their shoulders and says there is nothing they can do to “force” the child to spend time with the targeted parent. Or in a best case scenario, the court recognizes and appropriately addresses the alienation tactics. The child is able to withstand the attempts to brainwash them and grows even closer to the safe parent.

I have just described a very typical progression of events that a targeted parent will go through. What we haven’t talked about is the impact of going through all of that. Do you remember that I said in my previous intro to this series that many people contact us in the pit of despair? That some of them are contemplating suicide as a result of what they have been through?

How do you survive what many professionals describe as post traumatic syndrome? What do you do with intense feelings of rejection from children that once loved and honored you? How do you deal with feelings of betrayal, hate and bitterness towards a vindictive ex-spouse that would abuse their own child just to hurt you? How do you deal with the shock and injustice of false accusations, or the way that the legal system works? How do you deal with your feelings toward what you perceive to be a corrupt or inept judge that has the power to keep you from your own children? How do you stop the pain, anger, bitterness and hopelessness from destroying you?

There are many practical things that you can do to help yourself survive and move forward. Here are some of the actions and perspective that can help you to survive. I know they work because I utilized all of them.

  1. Grow deeper in your faith in God
  2. Forgive your enemies
  3. Love your child unconditionally even if they reject and disrespect you
  4. Put your children first – make every decision with their best interest in mind because your ex-spouse is incapable of doing so – you are the sane and safe parent, make every effort to stay that way
  5. Speak truth to your children about the situation and the behavior of your ex – without attacking your ex
  6. Seek professional help for you and your children’s relationship
  7. Don’t sacrifice your own integrity or standards just because your ex has
  8. Remember that lies, deception, politics and corruption may have a temporary victory, but eventually there will come a day of accountability for every evil deed ever done
  9. You can never determine what people say or think about you, only what they ought to
  10. In the event that you are separated from your children, make a website to communicate your ongoing love and commitment to them
  11. Seek counseling, read books and surround yourself with people that can support you in your pain and help you to maintain a healthy perspective
  12. Set goals and work toward your own personal, spiritual, and physical nurturing and growth
  13. Attend church, read your bible and other books to grow deeper in your faith
  14. Look for ways to serve others in your church, neighbors, friends and relatives
  15. Get involved with organizations (or start one) to make a difference for others so they don’t have to experience the pain that you have (legal reform, resources, divorce-care, support groups etc.)
  16. Speak into the lives of people around you that are in difficult marriages or going through a divorce to stop them from poisoning their children against their spouse
  17. Promote awareness of parental alienation to bring about change in our legal system and society
  18. Remember that even if an alienator is successful in their campaign to destroy your relationship with your children, they are the one that is being poisoned by the venom and insatiable need to control that they carry inside of them
  19. Everyone is “victimized” at some point in their life but no one has to live like a victim – living as a victim is a choice – if you choose to do so, then the perpetrator has truly won their greatest victory in your life
  20. Let the struggles and tragedies in this life compel you to seek deep and lasting answers far beyond the superficial

In my life, the only real and lasting hope that I’ve ever found to deal with these issues is in Jesus Christ. Yes, there are other factors that are important in surviving this type of tragedy but most of those just help to manage the pain they don’t get to the root of the pain and anger.

I f you read my story you know a small part of what I have been through. My sons and I were forcefully ripped apart in 1999 through the use of a PPO that my ex-wife easily obtained from a judge. I was never even accused of breaking a law yet was treated like a criminal for over 4 years by the judge in my case. I wasn’t allowed to contact my children in any capacity under threat of jail. I never got to say goodbye to them or explain what had happened. My ex-wife and the judge in my case made quite a team. They both achieved their goal of severing me from my son’s lives. My sons were ages 4 & 7 in 1999. They are 19 and 21 as I write this. And although they both know that I love them and would like a relationship with them, they still believe what they have been told about me by their mother. I lost over $150,000 in attorney fees, a house, a business and both of my sons. The only thing that kept an even greater tragedy from occurring after these events was my faith in Christ…

Not everyone believes in God. If you don’t, you may wonder why others do. Sure, you probably know the clichés that many memorize and use about people “needing a crutch”, and “not using their brains” etc. But what is your personal answer to the question “Does God exist?”, and what difference does it make if He does? Are you tired, weary, angry and disillusioned yet? This world is brutal, but it’s especially hard when you can’t make sense of it. In my opinion, it takes much more faith to believe that there is no God than to believe that there is one. If you are at the point where you are looking for serious, real, life-changing answers about God, life and His plan for mankind then stick around for the rest of this series and see if there is anything worthwhile here for you. You may also want to consider reading “Evidence That Demands a Verdict” by Josh McDowell or “Finding God” by Larry Crabb, while you’re going through this series.

  1. If you already believe in God, then you probably have several other questions.
  2. Is God really in control?
  3. If God is in control then why do lies, deception and corruption still seem to prevail in the “real” world?
  4. If God is love than how can he allow this in my child’s life?
  5. How can I ever forgive my ex or the judge and why should I?
  6. How can I trust God when He doesn’t seem to care?
  7. Does God really have a plan for humanity?
  8. Does He have a plan for my life?
  9. How do I pick up the pieces and move on with my life when all I feel is pain and anger?
  10. Will God ever restore my relationship with my child?

I think you’d agree that those are some pretty tough but real questions that we ask ourselves as we deal with crisis and tragedy in our life, especially if you are a targeted parent of parental alienation.
If you’re already a Christian, hold onto and grow deep in your faith at all costs. You may want to consider reading “Disappointment with God” or “Where is God When it Hurts?” Both are written by Phillip Yancey, or “Finding God” by Larry Crabb.
I will be back next week to deal with some of the previously stated topics in more depth. In the meantime, have a great day!

Rick Nischalke

Parental Alienation Update

July 30, 2013

If you’ve read the “Our Story” section of our Keeping Families Connected site, then you already know that I have personally experienced the intense pain, rejection, hopelessness and anger that a targeted parent of Parental Alienation experiences. There are many causes of pain in this life. But very few things have the ability to inflict […]

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Is there expert help to deal with Parental Alienation in the court system?

April 21, 2012

If you’re involved in a child custody case involving parental alienation or parental alienation syndrome this post could be very important to you. Any attorney that’s been involved in a high conflict divorce involving children will be fully aware of the dynamic of PA even if they’ve never heard of the actual term. Although many […]

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Parental Alienation – Forgiveness the path to ultimate healing.

October 4, 2010

It is amazing to me that people aren’t content with destroying our lives once, they want to continue to destroy it over and over again. It is a very sick world that we live in. Rick and I have lived with and experience this kind of pain on a daily basis, so I know to […]

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Corrupt Family Court System and apathy are destroying the our nation

July 6, 2010

“There is no system ever devised by mankind that is guaranteed to rip husband and wife or father, mother and child apart so bitterly then our present Family Court System” – Judge Brian Lindsay Retired Supreme Court Judge I have been pondering what has been happening in the courts lately.  I am struck by the […]

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Father’s Day not a day of celebration for some

June 22, 2010

For many of you Father’s Day was an incredibly sad day.  On a day when you are supposed to be celebrated you were ignored or at worse maligned. It is not a day in which you celebrate fatherhood but one which has become a reminder of injustices in the family court system and the evil […]

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Parental Alienation could it be the cause of Teen Violence?

May 12, 2010

There is a video circulating on Facebook and Youtube that shows a teen boy from Singapore assaulting one of his female classmates.  It is such a disturbing video. What I was struck by is the fact that this is happening at an increasing rate in every country around the globe.  I am convinced that the family courts are contributing […]

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P.A.S about Parental Alienation Syndrome by Tish Cafe

April 27, 2010

Ran across this song dedicated to the children of Parental Alienation by Dave Bound and Mark Jefferis.  Thanks for doing your part to get the word out about this horrible form of child abuse.

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