Share Your Story
We all have very unique stories regarding our parental alienation journeys. Rick’s story is highlighted on our website. Although my story is not as extreem as Rick’s it is none-the-less just as real.
I was married for just a little less than 19 years when my husband asked me for a divorce. He had found someone else and was moving on with his life. I determined to only answer direct questions from my daughters and not give them more information than they needed. The girls were 14 and 16 at the time. When asked by my them why I thought their Dad had an affair I shared with them that I had seen a video he had made where he proposed to the other woman. We were still married and he had not legally filed for a divorce or even moved out of the house. Our daughers were understandably upset and the oldest confronted him about the video. He lied to her and told her that the video did not exist, I was just trying to make him look bad and that none of it had happened. At the time he wanted to place the blame on me rather than take responsibliity for his decisions. You can imagine the wedge this put in the relationship with my daughter. Afterall she was daddy’s little girl and she was convinced that I was trying to destroy the relationship between her and her father. Amazing that I chose the higher road – to not speak ill of my soon to be ex husband and the very thing he accused me of was what he was doing himself. For years she tolerated me at best but most of the time was angry and wanted nothing to do with me. I had no idea what had caused the rift but I was determined to love her in spite of her anger and resentment towards me. Seven years later, I received a paniced phone call from my daughter. She was visiting her father during a college break, found and watched the video (which he denied existed). Needless to say she was not real happy with her dad. Although it hasn’t always been easy, we were able to start the rebuilding process from that point. It has been just over 7 years since her discovery of the truth and I am happy to say that we have been able to put the past behind us and now at age 30 she is one of my very best friends.
What still amazes me even to this day is that someone you once loved and trusted would deliberately target you and sabatoge your relationship with your child just to make themselves look good. I know that most of you, like Rick, have experienced far more severe parental alienation than I did but the pain of those 7 years was and is very real. I lost valuable time with my daughter during very pivitol teen years that I can never get back. I am just so thankful that God has restored the relationship now.
If your experience is anything like ours, you have felt that you are all alone. Family and friends although they wanted to support you really don’t understand what you are going through. In our lives they were convinced that we had an extreme case, a bad judge and a particularly vindictive ex spouse. But that for the most part the family court system was a good system. Since starting Keeping Families Connected, we have been told countless times, by more individuals than we could count, from numerous countries around the world, that they felt they were all alone and just reading our story had comforted them. With that said, please share your parental alienation story to help others gain courage and support in their journey through parental alienation. Thanks. — Barb —
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